Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Back in my day, we didn't have these fancy "DVD" things!

"I'm a 16 year old trapped in a 40 year old's body."
"Oh shit, shit, 19."

That was the conversation I had with my best compradre Georgia the other night over pizza.

I'm getting old and it's starting to scare me.

I still feel like I just graduated from school. I feel like the kids who just went to Schoolies are my age, not two years younger.

I read articles about 15 year old girls doing stuff like drinking and having sex and think, "How disgusting!". Then I remember that I did stuff like that when I was that age too. Then I realise that I'm saying phrases like "when I was your age."

I see girls in my school uniform walking around shopping centres and I have no idea who they are because they were probably in primary school when I was at school.

I felt extremely naughty when I smoked a damiana cigarette in public the other day, even though I'm over 18 and perfectly allowed to purchase and use smokable products.

In fact, I still get a thrill when I do over 18 activities, like buy booze. It's so fun finally being 18... but wait. I'm 19. I've been over 18 for more than a year.

I find myself hesitating when people ask for my age because I keep going to say "seventeen". That year dragged on far too long.

It's getting to a point where people are talking about marriage, moving out, having babies and earning truckloads of money as something other than a McPartTimeWorker, and it doesn't sound weird or like some unrealistic far-off dream anymore. It's the near future.

My mum got married when she was my age.

It's scary to think that if I had started my course last year, I would be graduating next year.

Pretty soon, I'll be moving out. I'll be finishing uni in two years and then looking for - gulp - a real job. After that, who knows? It's bizarre to think that I might end up getting married and you'll have to call me Mrs, and before you know it, I'll be someone's Mum and shouting down a teacher at a parent-teacher interview because they've said my kid doesn't speak loud enough.

Don't get me wrong. I hope I'll still be the same sort of person I am now. I still want to play video games. I still want to be involved with pop culture and other nerdy endeavours. I still want to go on boozing adventures in the Valley.

But at some point soon, I'm going to be an adult. I've been looking forward to this moment for all of my teenage life, when I'd finally be free of living in the not-so-real world and be a real person in society.

Now that it's rapidly approaching, I'm frightened as all hell.

I now understand why Dan groaned and buried his head into my shoulder in horror when I said, "You're 20 tomorrow! Are you excited?" the day before his birthday.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Can I vote for the "I dont give a shit" party?

Two things have annoyed me lately.

First port of call: Radio.
I do not have a CD player in my car, nor can I be bothered to buy a stereo. So I must listen to the radio. There's nothing wrong with this, really.
When I'm on a long drive and I'm doing the flicking between radio stations, I'm looking for some music. It frustrates me that more often than not, there is no music playing on any of the four radio stations I listen to. Instead I am treated to impotence ads where Gary can now go all night long, or the pure comedic genius of the hosts making witty observations like:

- Men and women are different
- Sometimes, they have sex.
- Paris Hilton/Britney Spears/silly famous blonde woman is pretty dumb.

Men and women are different? Wow! That's so refreshing.

That's nice. Not. I don't listen to the radio to hear people talk, I listen to it so I can dance me some funky tunes. I can't sing along to your voices, can I?

(Note to people who will go, "Omg, you should stop listening to commercial radio": No. Triple J is just as bad in the afternoons. Yes, I think Dools and the like are quite hilarious, but I would still rather listen to the new Hives songs than a bunch of silly jokes and plugging various upcoming music festivals.)

If this wasn't bad enough, this mindless banter has been replaced with one topic and one topic only.

That's right kids: The upcoming federal election! Oh, joy.

And that brings me to my next point.

That was a pretty awesome segue into my next point, yes?

I am getting tired of hearing about the election.

I turned on the radio today to do my radio station flicking exercise while driving to taekwondo. One station was interviewing Julia Gillard. The others were all talking about the election (Oh wait, there was one radio station laughing about impotence or something). Eventually I screamed in rage, turned off the radio and sang loudly to myself instead.

There was an election ad before the movies. Uh, I want to see pretty people sing Beatles songs, thanks, not smug Australians telling me how awesome John Howard is.

I couldn't stand watching the TV the other night because there were at least two election ads for every ad break. God, I'd rather watch tampon ads.

And most of all, I tire of people asking who I'm voting for, then telling me who they're voting for, then telling me that I should vote for whoever they're voting for. It's starting to get to a point where I'm afraid to actually tell people, just so I can avoid a big debate over something I don't actually care about.

But wait! Am I not a journalist student? Should I not have my ears to the ground, following the election coverage with bated breath? Shouldn't I be concerned about the future of this country?

Yeah, I should. But to be honest, I really couldn't give a flying George Bush about politics. Oh yeah, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm much more interested in ordinary people than politicians. I find the entire affair incredibly frustrating.

Let's make my reasoning a bit clearer.

This election is between...

this wanker


and this douchebag.

I have this somewhat annoying compulsion of mine to see the good and bad in everything. This isn't very useful when I have to choose one or the other.

Some of the wanker's policies are quite good and work well for certain areas. Some of them don't work so well with some others. Some of the douchebag's promises will benefit some people, but not work so well for others. Neither of the leaders will ever do anything that will realistically benefit every single person in Australia. Oh, and to make things more confusing, both of the main parties are copying policies off each other.

Some unions are good, some unions are bad. Get over it.

Politicians are told by PR to avoid certain questions in interviews. There's a lot of information we're missing. Most of the good things we hear about politicians are from their own mouths. Most of the dodgy things they do are well-publicised. Reading the paper is painful for me. It depresses me that such idiots are in power of this country. And that's not just with one politician; it's all of them.

And of course, they break promises. Who could forget the wanker's promise that there would be no GST and low and behold, there's a GST? And who knows if the douchebag will keep his promises?

You may have figured out by now that I am having a bit of trouble with who to vote for. And no, engaging in lengthy debate with people who proudly proclaim who they're voting for and try to "help me decide" is not helping one little bit.

I have seen heaps of good friends fight nastily due to political preference. This disturbs me. What happened to tolerance and respect of other people's beliefs? Not many people like fundamentalist religious types who proclaim loudly that they are born again Jewish Christian Wiccans Cow Worshippers and anybody who isn't will burn in a tub of sulpheric acid for eternity. This is exactly the same thing.

Either way, whoever's elected will make some things good and some things bad. All it boils down to, really, is who you are in society and whether it will benefit you or not. But there are a lot of different people in this country, and not everybody is going to be happy with everything.

To be honest, I can't see much changing either way. Money will be thrown at things, but I can't see a major upheavel in the system without people getting up in arms over the change in infrastructure and the sacrifices made.

Vote Labour. Vote Liberal. Vote for the Communist Party. Hell, vote for the "I hate Asian girl bloggers with red glasses" party if you want.
I don't care.
I really, really don't care.
Just take notice that when I say "I don't care" in regards to the election, this is not an invitation to engage in lengthy political debate with me. It is the proclaimation of a very confused, exasperated, cynical girl who has to choice between a wanker and a douchebag to lead the country in the next election.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


I like going out and partaying like it's 1999. Yes, like when I was 11, except with more alcohol.
My idea of going out and having a good time consists of a lot of alcohol, good company, and something to preoccupy myself with (usually dancing).

My going out experiences have ranged from unbelievably lame to epic nights of awesome. The unbelievably lame nights out have been a result of either myself or others making fatal partaying mistakes. Today, I would like to share with you how to have a good night out and how to avoid having a lame time.

How to Partay like it's 1999

  • Comfortable clothing is a must. You don't want to cut your night short because your ankles have collapsed from the stripper heels you've been wearing or your skinny emo jeans have ripped at the bum. Plus, it's really hard to dance in a dress that threatens to expose your areolas everytime you move.

    This can't be comfortable.

  • Leave your issues at home, please. Emo drunks are no fun. If i wanted drama, I'd stay home and watch The OC. I don't even watch The OC. That's how much I hate drama!
  • Don't go out with "I'm gonna pick up!" mentality. You'll end up coming off as desperate. And most human beings can smell desperation a mile away. And before you know it, you'll be chugging tweny jagerbombs and asking if you said they had a beautiful body, would they hold it against you, and then leaving with a red handprint on your cheek.
  • Don't bail on people at the last minute unless you're sick. It's common courtesy. Give whoever you're supposed to go with plenty of notice. There's nothing more lame than excitedly picking out a sexy outfit, having a few drinks at home and trying out your dance moves in front of a mirror then finding out everybody has decided to stay home instead.
  • Have a plan of where you want to go and what you want to do. It's good to have a backup plan too, in case the first one doesn't work out. Plus, it saves everybody standing around arguing about where they want to go. Talking is wasting precious drinking time.
  • Don't be too picky about where you want to go because somewhere doesn't play "your" music. I've been to skanky clubs, top 40 type bars, emo clubs, indie bars, metal bars, jazzy cocktail lounges and techno clubs. I've had a good time at all of them. The idea is to have a positive mindset. When you're in a group and they want to go somewhere you don't, either get over it or don't bother coming. Majority rules, and it's selfish to expect everyone to go where one person wants to go. And if going somewhere you don't want to go is really that horrible for you, go away. Nobody wants to party with a sulk. (This is why pre-planning a night out is a good idea).

Hey, don't look at me like that. So we're not at a totally alternative hardkore goffik club and you can't relate to any deep and meaningful lyrics. Cry me a river.
  • This goes for other times when you're not partaying : if you meet up with someone else along the way during your partay adventure, introduce the people you're with. There's nothing worse than being with someone, only to have them start chatting to someone and wonder whether you should jimmy in on their conversation or stand around like a dickhead until they're finished. Introducing people is good. Hell, maybe everybody will get along and you can call partay together. The more the merrier, right?
  • Know your alcohol limit. I know that when my stomach feels really full, I will probably throw up and cry tears of bitter, bitter vodka if I have anymore. This stops terrible and embarrassing things happening, like throwing up in the middle of the Brunswick St Mall, narrowly missing your friend's shoes.
I hope that helps. Happy partaying, everybody!

Quick personal bit:
I met Gotye! Well, not really. I went to see The Basics the other night, the band he drums for. You may know him from winning the Best Male award at the Arias and performing "Learnalilgivinalovin'.

A very talented man.

Whilst waiting for a drink at the bar, I saw a good looking man in a grey suit walk right next to me to the bar, get his drink, then walk away. Gotye, or Wally DeBacker, IN THE FLESH.
"THAT WAS GOTYE, OH MY GOD," I whispered at Dan.
Later, we sat out in the beer garden and drank. Erica pointed out that Wally was sitting a few tables away from us.
"Go buy him a beer," suggested Dan.
I seriously debated whether I should go over there and say hello or not. Although I would have liked to have shaken the hand of an Aria award winner who wrote one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard, I knew that in my drunken state I probably would have stuttered, said something weird, spilt my drink on his nice suit and stepped on his toes. Plus, it was just a bit odd, considering the many nights I've spent howling along to "Heart's a Mess".

So, there is my story of how I sort of, but not really, met Wally DeBacker.
But I did meet Kris, the bassist. So there you go, that's my connection with fame right there.
The Basics put on a damn good show too!

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