Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What the fuck is this song about?: "4ever" - The Veronicas

Have you ever listened to a song - really listened to it - and thought, "Wait, what the fuck is this song actually about? Love? Death? Partaying all night?" Have you ever tried to logically break down a song and realised that it makes absolutely no sense? Welcome a new segment in my blog called "What the Fuck is this Song About?"

First up, I shall analyse the lyrically masterful song "4ever" by esteemed musicians, The Veronicas. My boyfriend went to school with the Veronicas, true story. Apparently one of them was a massive stoner. That may help us understand the meaning behind these lyrics.

Here we are so what you gonna do?
Do I gotta spell it out for you?
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don't really care

The song is conflicted from the start. The singer is asking someone (I'm going to assume it's a boy) what they want to do. I would assume that the boy would reply with, "Well, I have other plans for tonight." However, the singer replies, "I don't really care." How inconsiderate. What if that boy wanted to visit his dear old grandma?

Size me up you know I beat the best
Tick tock no time to rest
Let them say what their gonna say
But tonight I just don't really care

What are they going to say? "Gosh, that girl sure is rude for not caring about that boy's dear old grandma."

Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

This chorus makes me think of metaphysical poetry, particularly that of John Donne. Most of his poetry was concerned with the transience of life and his own, erm, sexual desires. His poetry follows the theme of "Carpe Diem" - seize the day. In the Veronicas case, they're seizing the day by spending the night with someone. Hello gentleman!

"Seize the day, by bonking me."

Another point of contention in this chorus is the line "We could make the night last 4ever". Let's hope that the boy this song is directed to doesn't suffer from premature ejaculation.

I've seen it all I've got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me lets leave it all behind tonight
Like we just don't care

Let me take you on the ride of your life
That's what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say
Cause tonight I just don't even care

"Let me take you on the ride of your life" is pretty blatant isn't it? I dare you to use that as a pick up line at the pub. I think that's why she says "That's what I said, allright"... while the boy is staring at her in pure shock.

Lets pretend you're mine
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you'll want more

Ooh, I see now! "Pretend you're mine" might mean that the boy in the song has a girlfriend. Ah, it all makes sense now. She's worrying about what 'they' might say, which might be, "You're a horrible bitch for making this boy cheat on his girlfriend and neglect visiting his grandma!"

I wonder what it is this boy has what the singer likes and what the singer has what the boy likes. That's a very confusing sentence. I have a feeling these lines might relate to physical appendages, if you catch my drift.

So tell me what you're waiting for

"I'm waiting for you to stop making me spend the night with you when I have a girlfriend and I want to visit my grandma!"

In conclusion, this song is about a crazy woman with a blatant disregard for the relationship committments of a boy. The crux of "4ever" is "We ain't gonna live forever" - a metaphysical urge to seize the day by forgetting girlfriends and grandmas and being ridden all night long.

I hope that clears things up for everybody.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Talk Nerdy to Me

(wrote this a while ago, but recently finished it for a tute exercise)

It's official. I have a nerd fetish.

They're babes and you know it.

Characteristics which attract the opposite sex are usually quite generalised. Some women like the studly, muscly type, with sculpted stubble and a bum that can crack walnuts. Some women are into the arty, sensitive type, who wear poor boy caps, waffle on about politics, and drink imported beer. Some women are even into the effeminate emo types, like some girls like squealing over plush toys.

I've gone out with a few different types of guys. From a Filipino break dancer to a gothic weightlifter, it would seem that I have a rather eclectic taste in men. However, I have recently realised what my taste really is, and why I've picked the right man.

My friend Katey recently showed me this epic video - Ryan Vs Dorkman. They're two young men duelling each other, lightsaber style.

You may notice the part in the video when Dorkman slashes Ryan's leg. Ryan stumbles for a second, then assumes a ready stance. The camera zooms in on Dorkman, who wields his lightsaber, adjusts his glasses, and fixes a steely glare at Ryan.

"Mmm," I said. "Dorkman's dreamy."
"I'd hit that," agreed Katey.

Wait a minute. I was swooning over a bespectacled, lightsaber-wielding nerd. Aren't I supposed to be salivating over Justin Timberlake or something? Squealing orgasmically at Zac Efron? Humping the air at Orlando Bloom?

It's simple; I love nerd boys. Yes, that's right. The ones that get excited about video games and swordfighting. The ones that indulge in internet humour and call each other n00bs. The ones that have spirited debates over whether Wiis are better than Playstations and if pirates could beat ninjas. The socially awkward ones that stammer when they talk to girls. The pale, slightly plump or slightly skinny and glasses-wearing ones. I found myself watching the bumbling, socially awkward boys in Superbad and declaring, “They’re all babes. Especially McLovin’.”

Of course, you get the odd horrible nerd who will think you're pathetic because you haven't watched all the Star Wars movies, and hates women because they spurn his creepy, stalkerish advances. Not to mention the ones that look at Asian girls (like myself) and associate them with ditzy, submissive anime girls who wear gravity-defying short skirts. But they're a minority.

I think it's because I'm a bit of a nerd myself. I'm instantly comfortable around a nerd because nerds are less likely to snub you because you're into retro video games, B-grade horror movies and saying "LOL" in public. “Normal” guys just don't understand.

Nerds are fantastic to date. Most of them are intelligent, have an unpredictable sense of humour and can fix your computer. And picking up a nerd boy is a piece of cake; you don’t have to dress like a catwalk model. In fact, you’d get more of a response if you wore a shirt making an obscure reference to an old Nintendo game.

Most girls dream of a muscly Prince Charming who will dress like he just walked off the set of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, take them out to expensive restaurant, then light rose-scented candles when they take them back to their high-rise city apartment. It sounds nice, but I can't help thinking that I'd die of boredom in the middle of it. I can't be the only girl like this. Give me a nerd guy who will take me to see a Tarantino movie, eat pizza then take me back to his messy bedroom to play Wii Tennis anyday.

Past posts