As with any new hyped-up technological thing, it receives a fair bit of criticism.
“Why would I want people to read about my every day life? Why would I want to read about what other people do? This is pointless. I’m so angry that I’m going to go outside and go clubbing, get laid and play contact sports, you geeky basement-dwelling losers."
Etc, etc, we've all heard it before.
This video sums up a lot of criticism about Twitter (Twittercism?)
As hilarious as that video is, I think a lot of people are missing the point. Twitter is not like Myspace and Facebook. The point is not to meet friends or internet girlfriends on it. Its strengths lie in professional networking, self-promotion for freelancers and collecting information. A lot of mediatypes have added me to Twitter, which is handy, networking-wise, for an aspiring journalist/dirty new media yuppie like myself. I have gotten a few little interesting news stories from Twitter to put into 4ZZZ news bulletins. It makes my job a whole lot easier, which is pretty awesome.
They tend to post journalism industry happenings, interesting links and news. I am also following someveryexcellent comedians, very funnybloggers and generally some other cool or interesting Twitterers who always seem to write something entertaining. QUTstudentsloveittoo, which is great for solidarity when I’m lamenting over my latest uni assignment. Brisneyland is great for chatting about stuff happening locally. The QUT Lolly Shop used to have a Twitter account (until it unfortunately got shut down by the Student Guild) which talked about what was happening around campus – handy things to know, like the busway elevator was broken (again) and pop tarts were for sale!
I dohave friends on there, but that is because I am genuinely interested in what they have to say. Why would you add someone very boring that you don’t know? A few people I don’t know, who live in completely different areas and have very little in common with me are following me on Twitter. Here’s a hint: You can ignore them. That’s not to say there aren’t boring Twits out there. That’s not the fault of the application itself, but rather the people using it. The critics are right in a way – why would you update the internet with every boring, mundane detail of your life? It’s easy to fall into that trap I suppose. I try to put a bit of thought into it. Will people be interested in what I have to say? Would anybody find it worthy to respond to? Is it funny? Is it informative? If not, then I don’t bother. Here's another hint: You don't have to update your Twitter every five seconds for the sake of updating it.
I suppose Twitter is not for everybody. If you are interested in the world and people around you and have something to say, by all means Twit away until your fingers fall off. But if you only believe that Twitter exists to tell people when you’re on the toilet, trimming your nose hair, purchasing a bag of cheese or anything else that happens in your immensely boring life, then you should probably not get a Twitter account.
I post a lot of stuff on Facebook - videos, excellent links and photos. So much stuff that I realised I should post it on my blog rather than annoy everybody on my friends list.
1. A video game bar to be opened in Brisbane This is way too cool. It combines two things in life that I love - video games and drinking. I am so excited that I think I will drink there every night. Either that or I'll work there, as a bartender or undisputed Mario Kart champion.
2. Sausage thief This is the funniest story I have read all day. All week even. Firstly, the word sausage is hilarious. Secondly, the person who finds the Sausage King will be rewarded...with 10kg of sausages. Thirdly, he is being called "the icon of Toowoomba". The Toowoomba Chronicle's version is chock-full of puns and gets funnier and funnier as you read on.
“I hope the King hasn't been snagged anywhere or is not being given too much of a grilling.”
3. In other news of immense hilarity...
4. Kittens Inspired by Kittens
A young girl chirpily provides the strange dialogue between pictures of kittens eg. "I'm a magician!" Obviously someone has nerdy parents who look at too much Lolcats. Hency why if I ever have a daughter, she should be exactly like this girl.
While on the subject of cats...
5. Russian lolcats Translation: Cease your protests, the deal is done! You are to make a fine wife for uncouth American businessman!
I don't think I have anything to add to this.... just click it.
I am the Queen of Awkward. Seriously. See this facebook group? Read that entire list. I have done all of them.
I have done all of these too:
- When you are in the loungeroom with your parents/housemate/someone you don’t know very well and suddenly, out of the blue, a dirty sex scene starts playing on TV. With very loud moaning.
- Singing very loudly along to a song, then realising halfway through you’re singing a completely different song to the one you’re hearing.
- Making a potentially offensive joke that you think you’ll get away with but you don’t.
Eg. Me: “And I was like, you stupid bitch, I hope you get run over by a steam roller.”
Guy: “My uncle was run over by a steam roller :(”
Me: “Um, oh dear.”
- Pressing the button on the bus but realising you’re a few stops too early. And then the bus stops and it just so happens that no one else on the bus wants to get off there and you sink into your seat and pretend you didn’t press it.
- Interrupting intimate moments between couples through silliness. Like when Mr Chicken and I walked through the Botanical Gardens last Friday night, chasing possums, and interrupted about fifteen couples mid-nookie.
- Or when I’m looking deep into his beautiful blue eyes, about to tell him how much I love him and he says something like “I really want a pet flamingo.”
- Laughing really hard and accidentally spitting on someone.
- Having to explain to a computer repair man why your keyboard isn’t working. There are worse examples out there, but mine was very seriously informing him that I had spilt beer in the keys and ants had gotten into it.
- Seeing someone across the pub you want to crack on to, but you’re too nervous. So you have about five vodkas in ten minutes and muster up the courage to say something. But instead of saying, “Hello, having a good night?” you end up saying “Blaaarghhhhh!” and being glared at by their girlfriend (who you just noticed).
- When you bump into someone you know but you don’t really like. And you’ve looked at each other and you know they recognise you too, but you don’t want to talk to them. So you’re left with one option: Pretend you’re someone else, and give them a weird look like they’ve recognised the wrong person.
- Being rushed to hospital for a very unsexy female-related emergency and being examined by a very attractive, young male doctor.
- Someone walking in on you doing something weird. I don’t mean like wanking, I mean cleaning out your ears with a cotton tip. Or plucking the hairs from your upper lip with tweezers. Or very, very carefully popping a huge blister on your big toe.
- When your parents invite their friends over with their children and you’re forced to make small talk with each other. Thankfully, it’s not so much of a problem these days thanks to moving out of home and the wonderful invention of alcohol.
- Answering the phone, when you’re reduced to rolling around on the floor in your state of non-sobriety, and it’s your mother calling for a pleasant chat.
- Or it’s your boss calling you in to work. But at least you sound convincing when you say “I’m in no state to work”.
- Having an intimate moment alone with your man in the kitchen, then looking out the window to look into the shocked/disgusted/aroused eyes of the guy that lives in the flat next door.
- And then your boyfriend waves to him.
- Putting your media player on “random” a song like “Freestyler” comes on… while in the middle of having sex.
You can rock MY microphone, BABY.
** BONUS STORYTIME **: When I was going out with my then-boyfriend a few years ago, we were doing what most teenagers with hormones do. Hurriedly, he put media player on random so as to disguise suspicious noises from his parents. In the midst of the throes of awkward, teenage passion, Tenacious D’s “Wonderboy” started playing.
It was very hard not to sing along or throw him off so I could crack up laughing when Jack Black says “That’s telekenesis, Kyle! How about the power…to move you?”
Ah, facebook. I got one last year because a friend of mine wanted to show me some photos. For some reason I could only view them on facebook. Go figure. And my facebook profile was born.
Facebook is an endless source of amusement. Not because I play Dope Wars or send sheep to people or whatever, but for the social aspect of it all. That news feed tells you everything, from where people went on the weekend to if their relationship is complicated or not. Fascinating.
Here are some things that amuse me about facebook:
1. The hot friend in the profile photos I have most of the girls in my grade added to facebook. There is one particular girl who was rather popular back in the day (and still is I suppose). Pretty and smart, heaps of people wanted to be her friend. So I couldn't help but giggle when I noticed that about five or so girls on facebook had this particular girl in their profile picture. Perhaps they were hoping they would appear pretty and popular by default? Or maybe some random facebook babe would add them? That would be a strange conversation.
"You look beautiful in that photo." "Oh, why thankyou." "You have really cool blonde hair." "Oh, no, that's my friend. I'm the fatter, greasier, pimplier, less attractive one on the left." "...oh."
2. Passive-aggressive status updates I saw one the other day saying something like, "[name] wishes SOMEONE would get off their lazy arse". I have a hunch that the person they were talking about was their housemate. Who is on their friends list and, via the News Feed function, would have seen it.
I now realise that this entire entry (nay, this entire blog really) is pretty passive-aggressive in itself. But that's okay, because I'm a dirty hypocrite.
3. Um, who are you again? I occasionally get a friend request from someone I have never seen in my life. On closer inspection and a bit more stalking, I usually find out that we have a very tenuous link - usually that we went to the same school but weren't in the same year and never once spoke to each other or socially interacted in any way.
Why? I just don't understand. Why would you want to communicate with someone who was two years above you in school? It's bad enough when girls in my grade add me, and they're people who I either didn't talk to or thought I was a freak. Ah, the joys of an angsty youth...
4. Facebook addicts who are obviously new at using the internet. There was a fellow who added me a while back. He was a regular at my work. Anyway, I had to end up deleting him because I had about 200 requests from him to grow plants, send chocolate, take sexy quizzes etc. And then there were all those SuperPokes. Innappropriately dirty ones too, which was a bit worrying. On closer inspection, I realised that he sent the same things to everybody on his friends list.
What's the point? If I had accepted all of his requests, my profile probably would have crashed and the internet would have exploded. It's not cute or fun to do 200 facebook things; it's annoying. I use facebook to send messages, upload photos, play poker and stalk people. That's it. I really cannot be bothered to join a facebook mafia or race cars or grow teddy bears or whatever.
5. Friendship: DELETED You know you've really pissed someone off in this day and age when they delete you from their friends list. OH NO! Now who will I throw Pokemon at?
And I haven't even gotten started on myspace. It's more or less the same really, though you tend to see more passive-aggressive bulletins. And more weird friend requests. Please enjoy viewing this person, who attempted to start a myspace friendship with me.
“I’m looking for a lady in public, but a shameless hussy in private.”
This tender line was written in a 50-year-old man’s RSVP profile. Clearly, he knows the way to a girl’s heart.
My good friend Jasmine and I have a great hobby: combing through profiles on online dating sites and laughing at the terrible ones.We do this because we’re horrible, horrible people.
But really, if you’re a balding goth that craps on about Norse mythology, or you upload a photo of your obese, hairy self wearing only tiny rugby shorts, you really should expect to be laughed at.
I must say, I’m glad that I’m not single and to the point where I’m trawling these online dating sites, otherwise I’d be extremely depressed. The good men are obviously socially interacting in the outside world and the other ones are trying to find a lady on the ‘net.
Anyway, profiles tell a lot about a person. I’ve learnt to read between the lines and see who the real man is behind “a nice guy looking for the girl of his dreams”.
1. On Interests A lot of profiles are quite insistent on “an active lifestyle”. Basically, there seems to be a lot of single jetskiers/rollerbladers/tennis players/etc looking for love. And they’re looking for a lady to do all of that with. Here I was thinking that these guys were looking for a root, but they’re actually really looking for a chick to play badminton with.
Manblading can disturb your perfectly balanced beer, not to mention your libido.
What he’s trying to say: I’m not a fat nerd that sits around on the net all day, even though I’m on a dating site. Reality: NO FAT CHICKS.
On the flip side, a lot of online dating wannabes also mention that they don’t like going out to pubs/clubs and would rather stay at home and watch DVDs. Now I have nothing against that, but its said like us pub-going folk are horrible sleazy people who will be lonely for the rest of their lives, because they like have a schooner or two down at their local. That's not true! Only about a third of pub-goers are sleazy, lonely old men.
What he’s trying to say: I’m a gentleman because I don’t get wasted and grind up on random ladies. I’ll even watch girly movies with you. How sensitive and lovely of me. Reality: I probably can’t handle my liquor.
I find this very depressing because I am not an active lady and I enjoy tequila shots.
2. On being a gentleman or a nice guy Based on personal experience, nearly every guy who says that they’re “gentlemen” or “nice guys” are the complete opposite. Be wary of words like “chivalrous”. Sure, the gentlemen of old did nice things like open doors and pull out chairs, but then again women used to be exchanged for real estate and people used to think the world was flat. So-called "gentlemen" often do not understand concepts like women standing up for themselves, having lives of their own and enjoying themselves without having dinner bought for them. They're about as fun as going out with your Dad. If your Dad was the dude from 10 Things I Hate About You.
“Nice guys” are a different kettle of fish altogether. You know those guys who whinge that “nice guys finish last” and neglect the fact that their wooing techniques are outdated, annoying or just plain creepy? Rather than go on about it, I shall direct you to this incredibly accurate livejournal entry on the topic.
“Romeo! Romeo! GET THE HELL OFF MY BALCONY BEFORE I SLAP A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOUR ASS!”
Let’s just say that I’ve met my share of “nice guys” and “gentlemen”. They’re all the same. They disguise themselves as super sensitive guys for some reason, because apparently, as a woman, I’m into guys who spend more time crying and styling their hair than I do.
You know what I like? Guys who don’t need to explain how nice they are and just do it naturally. It’s like when people have to explain a joke; if it needs to be explained, it’s probably not funny.
Indeed, why do girls go for the bad boys? Because they’re better in bed.
What they’re trying to say: I’m a gentleman and a nice guy. Reality: Women exist to be girlfriends and make my life complete. I’m going to buy you flowers and if you don’t praise me like a god and let me have sex with you, I’ll stab you in the face. Oh no, where are you going? Please don’t leave me, I love you. FOREVER.
3. On coming across as mentally unstable Online profiles are hard to write. How do you really capture the true essence of your being in a few words?
There’s a golden rule of dating that says: Don’t talk about the ex on the first date. Some guys seem to cancel themselves immediately by talking about the ex and other such heartbreak on their profiles.
Seriously, when I was single, a few prospective internet daters decided preface them asking me out by telling me their girl problems. The bitch that fought with him, the whore that manipulated him, the beautiful woman that rejected him, the “women are awful” rant…followed by “So, wanna go out sometime?” What do they reckon girls would think? “Ooh, he’s a misogynist with emotional baggage. Take me now.”
They’re usually the same sort of guy as the “nice guy” above. Watch out!
What they’re trying to say: I’m a beautiful, wounded soul with a broken heart that only you can heal. Reality: I’ve got issues.
4. On what they’re looking for Obese, crusty old men with neckbeards have no right to specify that they’re only looking for a slim, attractive, possibly Asian woman ten years younger than them, and that bigger girls need not apply. End of story.
Beware the dreaded neckbeard!
What they’re trying to say: I like pretty ladies. Reality: I have unrealistically high standards.
5. On being a wanker I’ve only come across a select few of these profiles but they exist. Basically, they’re indie dudes who pride themselves on not being conventionally masculine and patronising anyone who is. Their favourite movies/music/books reads like somebody compiled a list of alternative pop culture to namedrop in order to sound cool. They effectively patronise people by saying things like, “if you’re the type of girl who ‘lykez having fun wif her friends lol’, don’t talk to me.”
If you’re the type of guy that wears berets and ‘adores post-modern arthouse movies and T.S Eliot’, don’t talk to me.
There was a fellow that Jas and I looked at who rambled on about how his dream girl has to match his level of intelligence. It’s a long story, but basically this fellow was going to ask me out over myspace, despite the fact I’ve never met or talked to him. I seem to attract a lot of unstable men, for some reason. Anyway, said fellow is coincidentally in some of my uni classes (small world again); his “intelligent” contributions to the lectures are so utterly banal that I’m embarrassed for him. Imagine if I had gone out with him! I can't see that relationship lasting beyond a single wanky comment in a lecture, followed by me throwing my laptop at him.
Again, if you have to explain to people that you’re intelligent, you’re probably not.
The irony of this is that no matter how intelligent and cultured and so goddamn different you try and appear to be, you can’t escape the fact that you’re advertising yourself for romance on a commercial dating site.
What they’re trying to say: I’m a very interesting person. Reality: I have a massive ego. Massive. My god, I just do not understand why women don’t flock to me at the thought of my enormous, throbbing…brain.
6. On Being "Open Minded"
What they're trying to say:I am open minded. Reality: I like kinky anal sex.
And I haven’t even gotten started on the women. They’re more or less the same anyway, but without neckbeards. That’s a blog for another day…
And with my powers combined, I am… A BAD DATING PROFILE!
"Why don’t girls like nice boys?” Hi, I’m a nice guy looking for a nice girl. A nice girl is someone who is nicer than my ex-girlfriend, who is a SELFISH BITCH WHORE WHO NEEDS TO DIE.
I’m into paragliding, lacrosse and curling. I’m looking for a girl who likes doing all these things with me. I hate going out to bars, clubs, parties, or any event where people are talking and smiling and whatnot. When I’m not paragliding, playing lacrosse or curling, I like watching DVDs at home.
My favourite movies are anything foreign and anything that David from The Movie Show likes.
As you can see in the picture, I have auburn hair, brown eyes and broad shoulders.
I’m a chivalrous gentleman who is into holding open doors, buying dinner and not letting you vote. Drop me a line ;)
Who I'm looking for: I’m looking for a girl who is petite, has the body of Jennifer Hawkins, around ten years younger than me and can keep up with my witty, intelligent banter.
DISCLAIMER IN CASE YOU MISS THE POINT OF THINGS AND ARE ABOUT TO SEND ME AN ANGRY COMMENT ABOUT HOW HORRIBLY SEXIST I AM: This isn't a rant against ALL men. I quite like most men, and I find I get along with the opposite sex better than other women. Most of them are kind, fun and wear nice cologne. This is an entry mocking men who are obviously trying too hard in the dating game and put ridiculous things on their profiles that drive women away without them realising it. And I think some women are pretty stupid too. Just so you know.
(wrote this a while ago, but recently finished it for a tute exercise)
It's official. I have a nerd fetish.
They're babes and you know it.
Characteristics which attract the opposite sex are usually quite generalised. Some women like the studly, muscly type, with sculpted stubble and a bum that can crack walnuts. Some women are into the arty, sensitive type, who wear poor boy caps, waffle on about politics, and drink imported beer. Some women are even into the effeminate emo types, like some girls like squealing over plush toys.
I've gone out with a few different types of guys. From a Filipino break dancer to a gothic weightlifter, it would seem that I have a rather eclectic taste in men. However, I have recently realised what my taste really is, and why I've picked the right man.
My friend Katey recently showed me this epic video - Ryan Vs Dorkman. They're two young men duelling each other, lightsaber style.
You may notice the part in the video when Dorkman slashes Ryan's leg. Ryan stumbles for a second, then assumes a ready stance. The camera zooms in on Dorkman, who wields his lightsaber, adjusts his glasses, and fixes a steely glare at Ryan.
"Mmm," I said. "Dorkman's dreamy." "I'd hit that," agreed Katey.
Wait a minute. I was swooning over a bespectacled, lightsaber-wielding nerd. Aren't I supposed to be salivating over Justin Timberlake or something? Squealing orgasmically at Zac Efron? Humping the air at Orlando Bloom?
It's simple; I love nerd boys. Yes, that's right. The ones that get excited about video games and swordfighting. The ones that indulge in internet humour and call each other n00bs. The ones that have spirited debates over whether Wiis are better than Playstations and if pirates could beat ninjas. The socially awkward ones that stammer when they talk to girls. The pale, slightly plump or slightly skinny and glasses-wearing ones. I found myself watching the bumbling, socially awkward boys in Superbad and declaring, “They’re all babes. Especially McLovin’.”
Of course, you get the odd horrible nerd who will think you're pathetic because you haven't watched all the Star Wars movies, and hates women because they spurn his creepy, stalkerish advances. Not to mention the ones that look at Asian girls (like myself) and associate them with ditzy, submissive anime girls who wear gravity-defying short skirts. But they're a minority.
I think it's because I'm a bit of a nerd myself. I'm instantly comfortable around a nerd because nerds are less likely to snub you because you're into retro video games, B-grade horror movies and saying "LOL" in public. “Normal” guys just don't understand.
Nerds are fantastic to date. Most of them are intelligent, have an unpredictable sense of humour and can fix your computer. And picking up a nerd boy is a piece of cake; you don’t have to dress like a catwalk model. In fact, you’d get more of a response if you wore a shirt making an obscure reference to an old Nintendo game.
Most girls dream of a muscly Prince Charming who will dress like he just walked off the set of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”, take them out to expensive restaurant, then light rose-scented candles when they take them back to their high-rise city apartment. It sounds nice, but I can't help thinking that I'd die of boredom in the middle of it. I can't be the only girl like this. Give me a nerd guy who will take me to see a Tarantino movie, eat pizza then take me back to his messy bedroom to play Wii Tennis anyday.
I have a confession to make. I'm a dirty internet whore.
I have the following on the interwebs: - This blog - An inactive LJ and a separate (also inactive) account to comment on friend's journals - A myspace which I use a LOT - A facebook which I've just started using. - A deviantart account (haven't used it for a while)
Bloody hell! I'm such a nerd. Mum was saying to me last night that when I was little, I would run over to those touch screens at schopping centres and press all the buttons. Also, on my birthday in history, a South Korean dude died from playing too much Starcraft. How fitting.
1. Federal Opposition leader Kevin Rudd has a myspace. You can view it here. Apprently he's been getting into it and running around adding people. A Daily Telegraph article said, "At the launch of MySpace's Impact channel, Mr Rudd was talking about "adding friends" and "pimping" his profile, which is MySpace speak for sexing up his webpage with photos, videos and music."" The possible future prime minister of Australia using the word "pimping". Fantastic!
I'm not a massive supporter of Kevin Rudd but I think it's great that he's risking looking like a complete dag to get votes from the youth of Australia. You know what I mean, it's like your dad going down to the pub with his mates and saying, "Yo, I'm going to chill with my homies" while he's wearing a shirt tucked into his board shorts and socks with sandals.
The comments on Kevin Rudd's myspace are a bit of a laugh too. One has simply said, "THE RUDDMEISTER!", another says "You will pwn at the next election." I wonder if Kevin Rudd knows what pwn means? Will he find out? If he wins the election, will his opening statement be, "I am very happy that I pwned John Howard's little n00b ass"?
He also lists liking Monty Python, Family Guy and The Chaser's War Against Everything. I suddenly got a mental image of him saying, "I am the Prime Minister who says... ni!" He should, he'd get the Australian nerd vote for sure.
Ni!
2. Dan and I have been going out for three months! Exactly three months ago I dashed off to the city to meet this lovely man to see Pan's Labyrinth, where I was promptly kissed and fondled on the ankle. Sigh! I love you, Dan. You pwn my heart.
I started writing a guide on How not to Fail on the Internet and it's getting rather long. I decided that instead of posting a novel, I'll post the guide in installments.
Today's topic - Meeting Pedophiles, I mean, Internet Dating
Some of you may know that I met my man of choice over myspace. I am clearly a sad, pathetic loser with no social skills and he is a sexual predator. Ahem. Before I met Dan, other fellows on myspace were keen on meeting up with me. I took my gut feelings most of the time. A lot of them gave off creepy vibes and I wisely cut contact with them. I shall tell you how to tell which ones are worth crossing the barrier from internet to real life and which ones are in it to lure you into a van with the promises of sweet, sweet candy. (Unfortunately, the examples I am providing are true – the good ones AND the bad ones).
Contrary to popular belief, not everybody who meets someone from the internet looks like this.
It’s a lot like real life, I suppose, except that you can’t tell whether they have bad BO or not. The first thing someone says to you can tell a lot about them. I have a rule about creepy people; if they act like they’re very close to you when you first meet them, they’re creepy.
Correct: “Hi, how are you?”
Wrong: “You are hot. Will you be my girlfriend? I would like to give you a sensual French massage.”
Pictures! Pictures are way important if you want to meet somebody, and not just because you want to see how big their boobies are. Avoid the ones who show you photos that look a bit professional (altered in photoshop to cover up the ugly), with their face covered (hats, sunglasses, weird lighting), or shirtless ones (eew, eew, eeeww). After all, if they can’t trust you enough to show you what they really look like, how can you trust meeting them?
An example of a failed attempt to cover up grossness with photoshop.
Eventually, you’ll start talking to them properly. Finding that you have an affinity for video games and funky fruit hats, you may wish to meet. That’s great! You should then pay attention to the way in which they wish to meet you:
Correct (after talking for a few weeks):
“Doing anything this Thursday? We should grab lunch or something.”
Wrong (after ONE conversation): “I’d love to take you out to a candlelit dinner. Just you and me… alone.” Slurp.
The actual meeting of said person over the internet can be fraught with danger. Think of it like a blind date. Try and meet in a public area so you can run away screaming into safety if they're not the cute boy with the bulging six pack you saw in the photo, but rather a 40 year old serial killer with manboobs. And then it’s pretty much a normal date from there. Good luck and don’t get herpes!
(thankyou to Something Awful for the hideous myspace photos)
I've said it before and I'll say it again - World of Warcraft is an evil game. It doesn't seem evil at first. For those who don't know, it's basically an RPG like an old Final Fantasy game - you select from a range of classes that pre-determine your abilities, level up and go on quests. The only difference is that as opposed to solely interacting with computer generated characters, they're real people.
Sounds harmless doesn't it?
WRONG. I've noticed a trend with World of Warcraft, and that is its ability to cause evil around the world.
First of all, you have to pay to play it. Not only do you have to buy the game itself but you have to pay about $20 each month to play it. Truly satanic. Kids around Asia have died from playing it, simply from forgetting to eat and digest. Men have left their wives for some hot elf chick they've met online. A dude killed another dude (in real life, not in the game) because he stole a sword off him.
Never has such a game been responsible for so much death and social destruction. Perhaps World of Warcraft is cursed. Or maybe there are too many bloody nerds with dependency issues. How pathetic. Some people really need to get a life.
(Sorry this blog entry took a while to write, I was playing Runescape. My combat level went up to 14 and now I can totally pwn some n00bz. 1337.)
And as a computer user who has used Windows XP extensively for, oh, I don't know, the last 8 years or so, it's a bit of a shock trying to get used to a new system. In a few years, everyone will be using it I suppose.
As much of a nerd as I am, I have to admit that I'm not completely into the niggly little tech details of computers. So I won't be able to tell you how well it utilises RAM or something. However, I will give you...
the n00bs review of Vista.
First Impression "Oh dear god! It's trying to be a Mac!" It's just the little things. Like the translucent wipe when you minimise a window. Or the chunky, shiny icons on the side of the page. And apparently, the loading icon is the same as the Mac's. Basically, the interface focuses more on graphics. I can't tell if it's a good thing or not. I nearly exploded with frustration when I used a Mac last, but I did like the pretty graphics. Sort of like an arty, attractive teen who writes nonsensical poetry which they claim to be deep and meaningful. Vista is a weird compromise between the familiarity of a Windows interface, and the pretty confusion of a Mac.
IE Shock horror, I've actually been using Internet Explorer and not Mozilla Firefox. This is because Internet Explorer has basically included my most often-used feature in Firefox - tabbed windows. Apart from that, it annoys the living daylights out of me because of erm, the lack of File/Edit/etc toolbar. Instead, the various features of IE are accessible by little icons. Quite frustrating for the enterprising Vista n00b.
STOP. HAMMER TIME. I'd heard that Vista was a bit over the top with security, and it doesn't disappoint. There are no less than FIVE icons in the little tray on the bottom right hand corner. Do I really need that much security? Not to mention, at least two windows pop up whenever I want to download something - it doesn't have a security certificate, do I want to continue? You're about to download something and it could have a virus! Do you want to continue? This insanity is brought to you by a new thing called Windows Defender, a program designed to unnecessary scare the n00bs and patronise computer users who aren't dumb enough to think that downloading a program called ThisIsaVirus.exe is a bad idea. Sometimes it's useful, like when I've realised that in the midst of my clicking spree that I've clicked the wrong button, but most of the time it's pretty unnecessary.
Cool bits Oh my god. It has Mahjong.
Also the scrolling menu is very useful. All the programs are accessible just by clicking a button and scrolling down a little section. I used to hate waiting for the other portion of the start menu to load if I had a lot of stuff installed on the computer, and then fiddling around and making sure it didn't disappear if I moved the mouse in a certain direction. So thumbs up, efficiency.
Lame bits I had to wait 15 minutes on the bus for it to configure security settings. Not only did I look like a complete loser on the bus, just staring at this blank screen that said "Configuring security settings", but it wasted a good chunk of my laptop battery.
Some of the icons have changed. It took me a few hours to find Windows Explorer, because it doesn't look like a little yellow folder anymore.
So there you have it, guys. Vista is both irritating, yet efficient, and plagiarises other programs so blatantly that you have to wonder why, and then you realise that no one is dumb enough to sue Bill Gates. Have fun.
I met him this weekend. I didn't expecting that I would ever feel this way about someone. He's beautiful. Every part of him, from his clear, bright eyes, to his sturdy body that I love to hold - so close, so warm. He speaks to me warm murmurs, sensitive to my touch. Everything about him is so new and mysterious. The unknown about him excites me. When i think of him, all I feel is bliss.
And all I want to do is snuggle up in bed with...
...
MY NEW LAPTOP.
Hot damn, it's awesome. I haven't felt so excited over a new piece of technology since I got my Nintendo DS. It's a shiny, pretty Asus with a huge hard drive (hehe, huge, hard) and lots of lovely RAM. Oh and a built in webcam, for taking many silly photos I assume.
Oh come on guys, my old computer is 7 years old. And it's a Celeron (oh noes). And I can't take it on the bus with me can I?
I am currently typing this blog entry to you from the comfort of my own bed. Living the dream, as it were. Sigh.
Ellie + Laptop = 4EVA
sidenote: haha, you thought i was talking about someone else didn't you.
I For the first time ever, I had forgotten to put my phone on silent before entering my Newswriting lecture last Thursday afternoon. And for the first time ever, my phone rang during my lecture. My ringtone, by the way, is the Pokemon theme song. "I WANNA BE, THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS," sang my phone earnestly while my lecturer was talking about news sources. Horrified, I dove into my backpack. "ShutupshutupshutUP!" I hissed, mashing the keys. Phew, I managed to hung up. Using my lightening fast mobile phone skills, I attempted to quickly change the profile to silent. Alas, just before I could do this, it rang again! "AAAGHH," I said, and proceeded to bolt from my chair out of the lecture. I had wisely chosen to sit down the front, so everyone in the lecture could have an optimum view of me running out to the strains of, "TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE..."
I answered the phone. "Hello?" "Ellie! Wanna come to trivia night at the Guild Bar on Sunday night with me?" "... I'm busy that night. AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LECTURE!"
Attempting to compose myself, I decided to sneak back into the lecture as quietely as possible. I opened the door slowly. CREEEAAAK. Wow thanks, way to reverberate across the lecture theatre there. I tip toed down the stairs like a fairy would tip toe among mushrooms and things like that. However, my plan was foiled as I stacked it, flying forward and nearly falling down the stairs. "FUCK!" I squawked eloquently, hitching up my pants. I had cleverly forgotten to put a belt on that morning and I had a feeling that half of the KJB120 students were receiving a pleasant view of the granny undies I'd worn that morning.
As that high quality adolescent magazine Girlfriend would say, "How embarrassment!"
II I had an Amelie moment the other day. I was walking through Carindale shopping centre en route to work the other morning, when I saw someone bent over and fiddling around with the photo booth. Curiously, I looked down. At that moment, a man with amazing green eyes looked up at me. Amelie, meet Nino. "Mmmmarf!" I squeaked seductively and walked on, trying not to let him see me blush. How many people are having orgasms right now? Fifteen.
III I spent my shift's pay on a dress the other day. Not only that, but said dress was from the portal of neon-lit, loud-head-throbbing "dance" music hell...
Supre.
I don't think I've bought anything there since I was 13. And that thing was probably something sparkly so I could wear it to an underage Blue Light disco to impress 14 year old boys.
It's okay though guys. The dress shows neither gratuitous amounts of my cleavage or my bottom, so you don't have to worry about being confronted with such visual terrors if you see me next.
IV Despite me ranting to everybody for the last few weeks that being single is awesome and relationships are for chumps and chumpettes, I have a crush on someone. Bloody hell. One of these days I'm going to have to get my hormones removed.
Hello there, welcome to my blog. My name is Ellie. I'm a 20-year-old journalism student in Brisbane, Australia.
I'm a politically-incorrect Korean adoptee who wants to be a writer and can make a mean Long Island Iced Tea. I think about things a lot and the bits that don't stay in my brain go into this blog.
There was a fellow who added me a while back. He was a regular at my work. Anyway, I had to end up deleting him because I had about 200 requests from him to grow plants, send chocolate, take sexy quizzes etc. And then there were all those SuperPokes. Innappropriately dirty ones too, which was a bit worrying. On closer inspection, I realised that he sent the same things to everybody on his friends list.
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