Confessions of a Dork

I
For the first time ever, I had forgotten to put my phone on silent before entering my Newswriting lecture last Thursday afternoon. And for the first time ever, my phone rang during my lecture. My ringtone, by the way, is the Pokemon theme song.
"I WANNA BE, THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS," sang my phone earnestly while my lecturer was talking about news sources.
Horrified, I dove into my backpack. "ShutupshutupshutUP!" I hissed, mashing the keys. Phew, I managed to hung up. Using my lightening fast mobile phone skills, I attempted to quickly change the profile to silent. Alas, just before I could do this, it rang again!
"AAAGHH," I said, and proceeded to bolt from my chair out of the lecture. I had wisely chosen to sit down the front, so everyone in the lecture could have an optimum view of me running out to the strains of, "TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE..."

I answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Ellie! Wanna come to trivia night at the Guild Bar on Sunday night with me?"
"... I'm busy that night. AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LECTURE!"

Attempting to compose myself, I decided to sneak back into the lecture as quietely as possible. I opened the door slowly. CREEEAAAK. Wow thanks, way to reverberate across the lecture theatre there.
I tip toed down the stairs like a fairy would tip toe among mushrooms and things like that. However, my plan was foiled as I stacked it, flying forward and nearly falling down the stairs. "FUCK!" I squawked eloquently, hitching up my pants.
I had cleverly forgotten to put a belt on that morning and I had a feeling that half of the KJB120 students were receiving a pleasant view of the granny undies I'd worn that morning.

As that high quality adolescent magazine Girlfriend would say, "How embarrassment!"

II
I had an Amelie moment the other day. I was walking through Carindale shopping centre en route to work the other morning, when I saw someone bent over and fiddling around with the photo booth. Curiously, I looked down. At that moment, a man with amazing green eyes looked up at me. Amelie, meet Nino. "Mmmmarf!" I squeaked seductively and walked on, trying not to let him see me blush.
How many people are having orgasms right now?
Fifteen.

III
I spent my shift's pay on a dress the other day.
Not only that, but said dress was from the portal of neon-lit, loud-head-throbbing "dance" music hell...

Supre.

I don't think I've bought anything there since I was 13. And that thing was probably something sparkly so I could wear it to an underage Blue Light disco to impress 14 year old boys.

It's okay though guys. The dress shows neither gratuitous amounts of my cleavage or my bottom, so you don't have to worry about being confronted with such visual terrors if you see me next.

IV
Despite me ranting to everybody for the last few weeks that being single is awesome and relationships are for chumps and chumpettes, I have a crush on someone. Bloody hell. One of these days I'm going to have to get my hormones removed.