Word to your mother.

Anyone who’s been following my Twitter or Facebook lately will have seen me express my rage at the word “alcopop”.

For any non-Aussie readers, the Australian government introduced a tax on pre-mixed drinks (eg. Vodka Cruisers, Bundy and Cola, my old favourite Smirnoff Blacks, etc) to reduce binge drinking last year. It was definitely not put into place so the government could get more money and has actually done nothing to reduce binge drinking, but I digress. This week the bill is being reviewed again. Naturally, everybody is talking about it.

It occurred to me as I was reading the news that the word “alcopop” was really bothering me. I think it’s because it’s not a word!

I’m not going to lie; I did partake in drinking activities when I was a young ‘un, and it’s pretty much a given that the underage drinking kiddies enjoy pre-mixed drinks. Who could blame them? The sugar content gets you drunk, there's usually more than one standard drink in one can/bottle which gets you drunk, and knocking down a few that pretty much taste like coke or juice gets you drunk. Did I mention they get you drunk?

But at no point in my early drinking career did I ever use the word “alcopop” and I have never heard any other 15-year-old on the train to a Wynnum house party use it.



Here I am at the tender age of 16, about to stab my friend with a Midori Illusion. Oh, the horrors of underage binge drinking!


So this means I never had this conversation:

Me: I am going to a fully sick party, man.
Male friend over 18: That is rad to the max, dudette.
Me: Like totally, homie G. Could you do us a favour and pick up a 6 pack of alcopops?
Male friend over 18: Fo shizzle, my nizzle.

I think this word was invented by Kevin Rudd, and merely indicates how out of touch with the youth he is. Yes K-Rudd, I know you have a pimped-out myspace but come on, you’re not fooling anyone.

The government are the kings of made-up words. Take for instance, the Cronulla Riots. Awful business that was, and it got about eight thousand times more awful when some clever clogs declared that it was “un-Australian”.

It’s not a word! Plus that word has been bantered about the press so much that I’m not actually sure what it means any more. It seems to be applied to when someone does something naughty. I mean, obviously you’d hope that beating up minorities wasn’t part of the national psyche. But considering it’s applied to matters of general human morality rather than nationalistic values, I don’t think it actually means anything. Probably because it’s not a word!



Luckily, these girls don't have to worry about being called "un-Australian".


Hugh McKay sums the debate up quite nicely in his article in The Age: “So let's not get carried away by hubris: Australians are no better than anyone else when it comes to occupation of the moral high ground”.

Also see Queensland Opposition Leader Lawrence Springborg’s use of "de-necessary" – which is not only grammatically incorrect, but also not a word! Good effort at trying to distract angry unionists from the fact that you’re cutting jobs in an unstable economic climate, Mr S! It didn't really work because they ended up making an entire campaign website about it.

I am also doing a subject called New Media. It is basically about using the internet, which I thought would be cool because I’m geeky. It’s not. I try and be a good student and read my ridiculously overpriced textbook but it’s very hard to when it’s full of many long, obscure words that have obviously been invented by someone who is VERY VERY CLEVER.

Take this sentence, for instance:
“Overly optimistic or pessimistic accounts of the impact of new media, or ‘cyberbole’, have been countered by approaches that seek to identify a middle ground between extreme positions.”

I think this is basically about people who either hate or love the internet. I’m not sure because I am obviously not academic and clever enough to understand.
But really, ‘cyberbole’? CYBERBOLE?! Oh look, it’s a clever play on words with ‘cyber’ and ‘hyperbole’. In case you didn’t pick it up already and were confused because it’s not a word!

Today in class we also discussed “folksonomy”. I’d never heard of the word until now. I thought it had something to do with folk music, but alas I am wrong.

Apparently it's one of those new buzzwords that has come along with "Web 2.0" (never quite understood that, I don't remember someone saying "Look! I made a new internet!"), "social networking" (when is networking not social in some way?) and "convergence" (which was already a word, but has been whored out in academic circles like a prostitute born with extra genitalia. Made of crack.).

We then had to answer the following questions in the tutorial. Here are my answers:

3. What are the limitations of folksonomy?
It’s not a word!!!

4. What are the strengths of folksonomy?
Confusing simple-minded journalism students.

I just heard that the "alcopop" tax was voted out. Thank goodness. I'm going to celebrate by knocking back a 6-pack of Midori Illusions, for old times sake.

lets get political. political!

It's starting to get exciting on the American front as the election starts to wind up. Admittedly, I haven't been avidly following the campaign trail and I wouldn't have the slightest clue what policies the presidential candidates have put forth. But it's all exciting in the last 48 hours or so. Those Americans sure know how to put on an election campaign. Plumbers and Barackrolls and hockey mums, oh my!


You've just been BarackRoll'd. Lols and such.

Silliness aside, this election is quite important. I mean, let's face it. If aliens invaded earth and said, "Take us to the KING OF THE WORLD", you'd take them to the White House. You wouldn't exactly introduce intergalactic space bodies to Kevin Rudd as representative of Earth, would you?


"Are all earthlings this geeky and full of milky goodness?"

The main concern I have with the election is that, again, it's between an old white guy with an appetite for warfare and, to quote the wise Weebl and Bob, Hopey McChangePants.

I have, uh, heard rumours on the internets that the smart guy will win. But if the last few elections are to go by, it looks like the old white guy is going to win.



Oh well, we'll soon see. Good luck, America!

Can I vote for the "I dont give a shit" party?

Two things have annoyed me lately.

First port of call: Radio.
I do not have a CD player in my car, nor can I be bothered to buy a stereo. So I must listen to the radio. There's nothing wrong with this, really.
EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
When I'm on a long drive and I'm doing the flicking between radio stations, I'm looking for some music. It frustrates me that more often than not, there is no music playing on any of the four radio stations I listen to. Instead I am treated to impotence ads where Gary can now go all night long, or the pure comedic genius of the hosts making witty observations like:

- Men and women are different
- Sometimes, they have sex.
- Paris Hilton/Britney Spears/silly famous blonde woman is pretty dumb.




Men and women are different? Wow! That's so refreshing.


That's nice. Not. I don't listen to the radio to hear people talk, I listen to it so I can dance me some funky tunes. I can't sing along to your voices, can I?

(Note to people who will go, "Omg, you should stop listening to commercial radio": No. Triple J is just as bad in the afternoons. Yes, I think Dools and the like are quite hilarious, but I would still rather listen to the new Hives songs than a bunch of silly jokes and plugging various upcoming music festivals.)

If this wasn't bad enough, this mindless banter has been replaced with one topic and one topic only.

That's right kids: The upcoming federal election! Oh, joy.

And that brings me to my next point.



That was a pretty awesome segue into my next point, yes?


I am getting tired of hearing about the election.

I turned on the radio today to do my radio station flicking exercise while driving to taekwondo. One station was interviewing Julia Gillard. The others were all talking about the election (Oh wait, there was one radio station laughing about impotence or something). Eventually I screamed in rage, turned off the radio and sang loudly to myself instead.

There was an election ad before the movies. Uh, I want to see pretty people sing Beatles songs, thanks, not smug Australians telling me how awesome John Howard is.

I couldn't stand watching the TV the other night because there were at least two election ads for every ad break. God, I'd rather watch tampon ads.

And most of all, I tire of people asking who I'm voting for, then telling me who they're voting for, then telling me that I should vote for whoever they're voting for. It's starting to get to a point where I'm afraid to actually tell people, just so I can avoid a big debate over something I don't actually care about.

But wait! Am I not a journalist student? Should I not have my ears to the ground, following the election coverage with bated breath? Shouldn't I be concerned about the future of this country?

Yeah, I should. But to be honest, I really couldn't give a flying George Bush about politics. Oh yeah, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm much more interested in ordinary people than politicians. I find the entire affair incredibly frustrating.

Let's make my reasoning a bit clearer.

This election is between...


this wanker

and


and this douchebag.

I have this somewhat annoying compulsion of mine to see the good and bad in everything. This isn't very useful when I have to choose one or the other.

Some of the wanker's policies are quite good and work well for certain areas. Some of them don't work so well with some others. Some of the douchebag's promises will benefit some people, but not work so well for others. Neither of the leaders will ever do anything that will realistically benefit every single person in Australia. Oh, and to make things more confusing, both of the main parties are copying policies off each other.

Some unions are good, some unions are bad. Get over it.

Politicians are told by PR to avoid certain questions in interviews. There's a lot of information we're missing. Most of the good things we hear about politicians are from their own mouths. Most of the dodgy things they do are well-publicised. Reading the paper is painful for me. It depresses me that such idiots are in power of this country. And that's not just with one politician; it's all of them.

And of course, they break promises. Who could forget the wanker's promise that there would be no GST and low and behold, there's a GST? And who knows if the douchebag will keep his promises?

You may have figured out by now that I am having a bit of trouble with who to vote for. And no, engaging in lengthy debate with people who proudly proclaim who they're voting for and try to "help me decide" is not helping one little bit.

I have seen heaps of good friends fight nastily due to political preference. This disturbs me. What happened to tolerance and respect of other people's beliefs? Not many people like fundamentalist religious types who proclaim loudly that they are born again Jewish Christian Wiccans Cow Worshippers and anybody who isn't will burn in a tub of sulpheric acid for eternity. This is exactly the same thing.

Either way, whoever's elected will make some things good and some things bad. All it boils down to, really, is who you are in society and whether it will benefit you or not. But there are a lot of different people in this country, and not everybody is going to be happy with everything.

To be honest, I can't see much changing either way. Money will be thrown at things, but I can't see a major upheavel in the system without people getting up in arms over the change in infrastructure and the sacrifices made.

Vote Labour. Vote Liberal. Vote for the Communist Party. Hell, vote for the "I hate Asian girl bloggers with red glasses" party if you want.
I don't care.
I really, really don't care.
Just take notice that when I say "I don't care" in regards to the election, this is not an invitation to engage in lengthy political debate with me. It is the proclaimation of a very confused, exasperated, cynical girl who has to choice between a wanker and a douchebag to lead the country in the next election.

Pimping Prime Ministers and lurve

Two items on the blogging agenda today.

1. Federal Opposition leader Kevin Rudd has a myspace. You can view it here. Apprently he's been getting into it and running around adding people. A Daily Telegraph article said, "At the launch of MySpace's Impact channel, Mr Rudd was talking about "adding friends" and "pimping" his profile, which is MySpace speak for sexing up his webpage with photos, videos and music."" The possible future prime minister of Australia using the word "pimping". Fantastic!

I'm not a massive supporter of Kevin Rudd but I think it's great that he's risking looking like a complete dag to get votes from the youth of Australia. You know what I mean, it's like your dad going down to the pub with his mates and saying, "Yo, I'm going to chill with my homies" while he's wearing a shirt tucked into his board shorts and socks with sandals.

The comments on Kevin Rudd's myspace are a bit of a laugh too. One has simply said, "THE RUDDMEISTER!", another says "You will pwn at the next election." I wonder if Kevin Rudd knows what pwn means? Will he find out? If he wins the election, will his opening statement be, "I am very happy that I pwned John Howard's little n00b ass"?

He also lists liking Monty Python, Family Guy and The Chaser's War Against Everything. I suddenly got a mental image of him saying, "I am the Prime Minister who says... ni!" He should, he'd get the Australian nerd vote for sure.


Ni!

2. Dan and I have been going out for three months! Exactly three months ago I dashed off to the city to meet this lovely man to see Pan's Labyrinth, where I was promptly kissed and fondled on the ankle. Sigh! I love you, Dan. You pwn my heart.


Awww.