Fashion is pretty stupid.

Whilst browsing Target before Dan finished work yesterday, I have decided that fashion has hit an all time low. Every decade has its major fashion faux pas; the 80's had big shoulder pads, for example. The 90's had high, high pants. This decade? At the moment, there seems to be a horrible 60s/80s revival and it's going pretty downhill.

Here are my pet peeves of current fashion:

Pinafore dresses



There are a few variations on the pinafore dress but the trendy style at the moment is usually sleeveless, cut under the bust - or sometimes not cut at all - and billow out from there.

I have worn these sorts of dresses before... when I was five!

I don't understand why these dresses are so great. The majority of them are so shapeless that they either take far too many years off your age or make you look like you're pregnant. Sure, I suppose they're quite ideal for those not terribly comfortable with showing off too much of their figure. But because these dresses are so trendy, it's hard to find any other style.

I am a fairly curveless woman. Dresses that cinch or are cut at the waist (like NORMAL DRESSES) are most ideal for me. When I tried on a pinafore dress, I looked even younger than I usually do and like I was about to go pretend to be a fairy. UGH.


Bring back the 50s housewife dresses. At least they make you look like you have A BODY.

Stripper Heels
I was browsing the shoe section and came across some very hideous looking high heels. They were seemingly normal from the front but at the back... oh god no, the heel was transparent plastic. Kinda like...


stripper shoes! Oh no! The thought of middle aged bogan women tottering around with grimy heels and giggling "hurr hurr, i'm a stripper" frightens me.

WTF shoes

Katey in Kmart: "These shoes have tentacles!"
Although I don't wear them, ballet flat shoes look quite comfortable and easy to wear*. So why add unnecessary ribbon bits/tentacles to wrap up your leg?! They look quite elegant on actual ballet dancers, but otherwise they look like your leg is a piece of meat and its being wrapped up at the butchers.

By now you're probably thinking that I am a big fashion snob. Not to worry, I have some confessions.

- I was admiring some cute black and white dresses and tops at the Red Circle Boutique, relieved that at last I found some readily available, cheap clothes that I actually like. Then I looked at the label.
They were clothes from The Veronicas clothing range.

I felt so dirty.

- I bought a pair of high waisted black shorts. Pretty awful in its concept but by god, it's 30 degrees and I'll be fucked if i wear jeans.
Plus, they're comfortable. And not to worry, even though they are high waisted, there is no camel toe.


None of this.

- I actually kinda like the hypercolour shirts and skinny jeans look. Wouldn't wear it, but it looks cute. Sue me.

* if you didn't pick up that pokemon reference, you're clearly not nerdy enough.