OK, apart from the egg sandwiches, I am bothered by an issue of etiquette. I want to know what you, the reader, thinks of this situation.
My good friend Jooby is having a going away party later this week before she goes on a long trip around Europe. It is a cocktail party and everybody is to bring a bottle of something and some food. Georgia is providing extra liquor from her own stash and helping to set up the party. I'm bringing vodka from my stash, buying a bottle of tequila and some nibblies. Jooby is going to buy some wine and champage. It should cost around $40 for each person. A little bit pricey, but far cheaper than going out. Besides, our contribution to giving her a good party is her goodbye present.
Two girls have decided that they do not want to drink, so they're not going to bring alcohol. Instead, they are bringing bottles of soft drink. This will cost them about $10 each.
Is this fair?
On one hand, if they're not going to be drinking alcohol, then I suppose it is fair.
I think that if everybody is paying $40 for Jooby to have a good party, they should too.
For example, I bought my friend Amy a bottle of vodka as a birthdya present. Did I drink the vodka? No, because it was a present. Isn't buying a bottle of liquor for a party the same thing?
Also, for every bottle of liquor not bought, somebody else will have to make up the lost numbers. My co-worker, Emily, had a similar issue. She and her boyfriend were to hold a cocktail party. She instructed all the guests to bring various bottles of liquor so they could make certain recipes. One girl was told to provide the tequila. At the last minute, she decided that she did not want to drink, so she didn't want to buy the tequila. This meant that Emily had to buy (as well as food and other bottles of liquor) the tequila herself. She was pretty annoyed.
"Was that rude of her?" she asked me. "I don't know why it's bothering so much. But it is."
What do you guys think?
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3 comments:
It's fair if there's no pre-conceived expectations from the partee of the parteeyer. If you believe the partee deserves to have more money spent on her, then the two parteeyers can pay for something else in addition to the soft drinks. Such as a frivolous male stripper. If they haven't already.
It's a pretty grey area, I think. I know I'd be pretty annoyed if I were in your shoes. If they've decided they don't want to drink- kudos to them. But that doesn't mean they should skimp on the behalf of their friend. If it's common knowledge that everyone else is spending roughly around $40, and they don't want to spend any money on booze at all.. they should make it up in another way. Perhaps buy the friend some nice chocolates. Or they could buy enough soft drink for other people to use as mixers.
Who knows.
Agree with the above, it's a grey area. :/ I think it's a bit different to your co-worker's situation, because at least they let people know in advance they weren't going to be drinking, rather than deciding at the last minute and screwing people over. If I was in your position, I'd be annoyed. If I was in the shoes of the girls not drinking, I wouldn't want to pay for something I wasn't indulging in.
I think that if they made up the $40 in food and soft drink then it would balance out. Like, if they bought a bottle of Midori and didn't drink any, it's hard on them. But if they bought two bottles of coke, some party pies, lollies and potato chips, then at least they could eat that and still contribute to a nice party.
It really is a grey area though, I can see where both sides are coming from. Hope everything works out!
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