DRAMA!

A few weeks go, we got new next door neighbours. At first I thought they would be quite cool, as I spotted them moving guitar cases into their houses. Hoorah for musos.
However, their coolness was but a farce! Ever since they moved in, they have had parties on both Friday and Saturday nights, without fail. Look, there's really nothing wrong with parties. I went to a party once. It was grand.

But there is something wrong when it's 2am and all you can hear is a bunch of drunk idiots singing, "We're going to Jackson" and playing guitar over and over again. There's something wrong when you realise that they aren't musos, but rather the members of an absolutely terrible metal band that don't play melodies so much as they create a lot of whiny feedback noises.
They also have a spa. The system that turns on the bubbles is freakishly loud - it sounds like some sort of giant vacuum cleaner with teeth. They enjoy jumping into it and screeching drunkenly and loudly at each other over the noise.

A few times, my parents (gosh bless them) have gone outside to yell, "SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS." Fair enough - they usually get up at 5am. Sometimes I have to rise at 6am for work. Usually they've complied with this.

The other night was a different story. I was online in the wee hours of the morning playing Runescape (what else?) and trying to ignore the usual round of drunken hollering next door. "SHUT UP!" I heard my mum yell at about 1am. They were so drunk that they didn't hear her. After a while of more yelling, mum and dad suddenly dashed downstairs. I missed it, but apparently they heard a fellow yell, "I'M GOING TO SLIT MY WRISTS," which was followed by a heated argument. I'm pretty sure I heard someone yell, "Put it down, PUT IT DOWN!" so I can just imagine what was going on. By this time, four people were screaming at each other out on their front yard, drunk as all hell.

A car screeched loudly, followed by a loud thud. Later, I realised that one of the four people next door had gotten into the car and driven off...drunk. Then someone else drove after them. They were also drunk!

I heard Dad telling them that he'd call the cops. Mainly because they were getting quite aggressive and two drunk people were driving around somewhere. One of the girls, who was very erm, vocal, said the following things to my parents:
(to my mum) "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FAT SLUT!"
(to my dad) "YOU'RE A FAT BALD BASTARD AND I HOPE YOU DIE FROM CANCER!"
Mmm, charming. Dad rang the cops and my parents retreated inside, quite amused by the whole thing.

The cops arrived a while later. One of the fellows who had driven off beforehand (drunk) had returned, and was now telling the cops to fuck off. Drunk driving and swearing at the police is the smart thing to do, guys. No seriously. You can't go wrong there.

In the end, the police carted the seriously drunk people off in a paddy wagon at around 3am.

The next morning, the stupid neighbours put on their spa and played very bad thrash metal as some form of revenge. Which is pretty pathetic because it was 11am in the morning and didn't really bother anyone. Dad himself was mowing the lawn! Losers.

They're idiots. I hope they move out soon. Mum overheard the aforementioned, eloquent girl say that she wants to poison our dog. If she lays hands on my dog, my awesome, fat, cute dog, I swear to god I will kill her with my bare hands.

Dad reckons I could take her on.


Anyone else had wacko neighbours?